18//still living.
I don’t think I will ever understand why I hate my birthday so much. It is currently 12:04 AM and I am already on the verge of tears because it is my birthday. And it isn’t the type of tears you would on your birthday. I feel my body shutting down for the day already and I just want to sleep all day in my little cave of a dorm.
I really do hate my birthday because I get so sad- I really wish I wasn’t like this.
I sent nudes to this guy at 7:30 this morning over snapchat.
Saw him at dinner. He gave everyone a hug except me b/c he thought I was ignoring him.
But he has yet to open my snapchat from this morning. Like excuse me- you have been ignoring me since 7:30 this morning since you have yet to open it, but are snapchatting other people.
MY LIFE IS A JOKE!
I started my sophomore year of college a couple of months ago and I honestly thought it was going well. Until I started to lose all motivation to do anything. My room is a constant mess, along with my grades. I have a constant urge to drink, but I don’t think I am an actual alcoholic- just a normal college student looking to not do their work and have some fun. However, I want to get my work done and not go out when I need to but I never have the motivation to do so. The other night, the thought of boys were in my head and honestly, I never wanted the thought to go away more than I did that not. I have trust issues and social issues, and all around boy issues and I wish I never got myself involved in in the first place. I took my last relationship to the next level way too soon and I believe that is what fucked me up.
